some very specific instances of crackheads.

Three Ways and a Million Ways
Ari/Eric, R
Word Count: 600
Authors Notes: If I told you my academic adviser was Ari Gold, would you tell me to fuck off?

(You don't know this, but in college Ari went to Israel and thought about opening a shwarma shop for about five seconds before he realized he was piss drunk in a Tel-Aviv bar, that it was the 80s, and that there was a bare-chested dude giving him the once over from the corner while saying, pretty American boy want cocaine?)

This journal is Dead.

You know how sometimes things shouldn't be hot...and then they are and you kind of hate yourself but also want to go masturbate frantically in a corner or at least read/see them again? Yeah, that's what this Scubs fic is like. It's JD/Dr. Cox. It's not good, so it shouldn't be hot, but something about it got me just right. And I feel kind of soiled.

Enjoy! And share your recs if you've got 'em.

Because masochism is the flavor of the week:

Unscreened, unlocked, unlogged: tell me what you think of me, anonymously or not. If you've got something to say, now is the time.



(I used to think I was the the bad influence, tobyzantium.)
(When I stop watching the same six episodes of Scrubs over and over again, maybe I'll feel sane.)

HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME!!!

REMEMBER JACK OF JILL?! THEY WERE BAD. I LOVED THEM.

DOES ANYONE HAVE JACK OFF JILL ON THEIR COMPUTER?! CAN THEY USEND IT TO ME?!

THIS IS A DESPERATE PLEA. I FEAR THAT ONLY JACK OFF JILL CAN GET ME THROUGH FINALS.

I WILL. I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU IF YOU HAVE ANY OF THEIR ALBUMS FOR ME. EVEN A SONG OR TWO.

ITUNES DOES NOT HAVE THEIR MUSIC. IT'S GOING TO KILL ME. I AM SO ACCUSTOMED TO INSTANT MUSIC GRATIFICATION. PLZ HELP. PLZ. IT'S THE CHRISTMAS SEASON.


I'LL SUCK YOUR DICK.

EAT CUTE, BITCHEZ.


So, what's new with you? Here's a list of all of the work I have to do before/during finals:

• Summary of Im Westen Nicht Neues (due: tomorrow, auf deutsch, two pages)
• Five page draft of Paper I Do Not Know What to Write (due: Friday)
• Response paper to Most Boring Classics Lecture Ever (due: tomorrow)
• Final draft of Aeneid paper (due: 12.11, five pages)
• Draft on Dante paper (due: 12.15) HALF DONE
  
• Final draft of Paper I Do Not Know What to Write (due: 12.15, 12 pages)
• Final German paper on Topic of Choice (due 12.18, four pages)
• Take-home Final, Women in Modern Europe (due 12.22)
• Final exam, self-scheduled, Victorian Sexualities
• Final exam, self-schedules, Western Classics in Translation
  

What kind of work do you have before the semester (assuming you're in school) lets out? I invite you to post your own list to the comments and we can whine together. Actually, I think I need to go have a lie down. Looking at my own list is making me ill. Two weeks and four days until Christmas?

Last night I was up until 3:00AM re-doing my LJ layout. I seriously tried three different designs before I decided on this one and made the graphic in Photoshop Elements which is not an easy program to navigate on the first go. I'm kind of obsessed with image maps now, though. So that's kind of cool.

In other words, check out my new layout: illiterateilliterateilliterateilliterate

And tell me a secret. I could use a few good secrets. I've turned off IP logging, and you can be anon.

Dear Yuletide writer,

Let it be said that I already love you. I mean, just in case you were worried at all that I wouldn't like your writing, or if you doubted yourself when you realized that you had to write out one of my lame desires. You know, it's funny... but I can't remember what the hell I've chosen. Either way, I am thrilled that you have gotten my requests! Best of luck, and I cannot wait to read your genius words. Isn't yuletide swell?

Heartspuppiesbunnies,
Chloe

Pillowtalk
By Chloe (illiterate)

Note: This ficlet was brought on by a snipped of dialogue from this Tuesday’s House. It went something like this:

House: What’s that Foreman? You’re racist?!
Foreman: Thanks a lot, Chase… NO!

Anyway…. Have some fan-fiction about characters that obviously do not belong to me in any way, shape, or form. Enjoy!

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Five Things Gregory House Will Never Know about Chase
By Chloe ( illiterate )

Gen, Chase-centric.
PG-13, 297 words
PS: inkaddict made a BEAUTIFUL wallpaper using the text of this story. You should totally check it out here.

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This is just a bit of late-night fluff and pretty much what happens when you spend the night at the local hospital waiting for House to suddenly show up. Wishful thinking, although I did cut out a picture of Hugh Laurie from a magazine! *wins at life*